nerdoutandproud:

I’m just going to answer these because I like these questions. 

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? It’s harder for me to look in someone’s eyes when I’m telling them how I feel, unless I want to see their reaction.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? I’m really angry now. I’m just a generally angry person at this point in my life, but I’m working on that. 

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? I call my mother. I apologize for high school, tell her I love her, that she’s my hero and I should have told her that more often. 

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? I would be terrified but at peace with it realizing that there is nothing I could do. I would tell my family and maybe some close friends but I would spend my last remaining days with my family maybe go camping or to the beach.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust. I’ve had love but I don’t think I’ve ever had trust. I would choose trust because I think if there’s enough trust then you’ll have love.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not? Of course I’d save the dog, I don’t know why but I just like animals more than people. 

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? I was hurt by the one person who was both. So. 

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say? I would apologize if I didn’t feel the same but if I did I would take the leap. 

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? The last person I knew to die was my great grandfather and he was really sick. I don’t think it would be fair to him to give him one more hour of that suffering back. 

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? I would hope so. 

11. Does love = sex? No, but to me I can’t orgasm if I don’t love the person. So fuck my life. 

12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not? Really depends where I am career wise. If I’ve been there for years and I have a lot of experience and I know I could find another job I would definitely do it, but if it wasn’t like that I would have to say that I wouldn’t. 

13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? The last time that I was completely honest with someone was my ex-boyfriend. I told him that I wanted him miserable, that after what he did to me I felt that he didn’t deserve to be happy. I know it was immature but that’s how I felt then, how I feel now. I don’t think we’ll ever be good or friends. 

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back? That I loved them.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? I don’t know if I could give up my family or even my cat. They’re the only constants in my life, and I would be devastated to lose either of them. 

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? I told my mom I loved her, if not today the last time we were on the phone, today’s phone calls were very stressful because we were dealing with trying to get my summer classes paid for. 

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why? Oh, God, so there was this guy I had a thing with a few months ago and he was over at my friends house and I was super awkward the whole time instead of talking to him and trying to be cool with him. If I could change that I would. If I had a way to apologize to him, I would. 

18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? My dad or my brother because they have guns. 

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not? Of course I would. You don’t have to put your mouth on them, plus, I’m CPR certified. 

21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision? I would discuss what I should do with my grandmother, but I don’t know the kid, and looking at the way the world is right now I feel like I would be doing that child a favor. 

22. Are you old fashioned? Eh, some aspects. If a man asks you on a date he should pay for it. The woman should know how to cook for her man and take care of him.  

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I don’t think I’d ever use someone. I don’t know how people do it. 

24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? No love at all. I thought I had true love and I had that broken heart and I don’t know if I could emotionally or physically go through that again. 

25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? I want to be happy, whatever it takes to get there. 

I did all the math and it comes out to me potentially graduating August 2013. I’m excited and terrified all at the same time. Now I have to get on top of finding an internship, get serious about taking my GSP (as in call them Monday and find out the soonest time I can take it, and then borrow $40 from my parents), and pass all my classes.

I’ve never even been close to the finish line and I’m starting to find myself wanting to change majors just so I don’t have to take the full responsibility of being an adult. I’m terrified but excited. But, mostly terrified.

Austin American Statesman internship packets are due November 2nd and they haven’t specified what exactly they are looking for and they only take four interns. However, I’m still holding out hope for the photojournalism internship at the LA Times. I do worry though that I don’t have the talent for these internships. So, I’m going to use this Summer and some of the Fall semester to stroke my own ego and get some killer shots for my portfolio to send in.

Today:

• Finish Media Criticism paper
• Study for Spanish
• Drop photos
• Begin editorial research

Read More

Today is definitely a better day. 

I’d usually be up getting ready for class but my first class is cancelled until next week and my next class starts at 12:30 so I’ve got two hours before I have to leave for class. 

I spoke with Stephen and asked why he told me that I didn’t deserve what I thought I deserved and he told me he was being a sarcastic ass and thought I saw him smirk, I still don’t forgive him for that. You don’t tell a hysterical woman that she doesn’t deserve someone who will be there for her, tell her the truth, and love her unconditionally. But what do you expect from someone who still hasn’t grown up?

I also have half a mind to move my apartment around. I want to switch my bed area and living area…but I can’t do it alone and I don’t feel like having anyone over to help me because that would mean cleaning up my apartment. And, taking in to consideration that I’m sick, I really don’t feel like doing anything.  

Yesterday I shot a baseball game and got the biggest compliment from my editor, and it made me feel all warm and bubbly inside. 

I’ve been crazy busy with school, it’s demanding the lot of my time and when I have free time it’s devoted to work. I went out this past Saturday for the first time in three to four weeks. 

I signed up for statistics and the American presidency for my summer classes just in case I can’t find a summer job. 

Wow, I can sum up the majority of my life in three paragraphs…

Oh, I also had four pictures in today’s paper. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. 

Read More

After reading One Is the Quirkiest Number in The New York Times and I decided to list SOME of my quirks:

1. I occasionally drink out of the milk carton.
2. If I cook something in a pot it usually gets eaten out of the same pot.
3. Doing dishes has become optional.
4. There are newspapers all over the place.
5. I occasionally live out of my laundry basket until I have to do laundry.
6. I talk to myself in Spanglish. 
7. I do the dishes in my underwear wearing those ugly yellow gloves while listening to The Beatles. 

I would probably choose to separate myself from all of these quirks if I had a roommate.